Making Memories!

 Camden Adventure Aquarium

July 12, 2013

 

Today my fiance and I took our three year old son to Camden New Jersey's Adventure Aquarium.  This was Joey's first time at an aquarium and it was also mine.  The experience was more than I could ever imagine.  The aquarium has everything from string rays to sharks and even penguins.  Joey wasn't the only one taking in everything that he saw.  I was truly amazed and blown away while walking around the aquarium.  Today for me, is like one of those days you hold everything that happened close to your heart.  It will be the memories I cherish for a life time.  Memories of Joey touching a star fish.  Or the way his face lit up when he saw a shark up close.  This was truly an experience of a lifetime.  Well worth any money spent, time wasted sitting in traffic or the aggravation caused by other people in the aquarium.    

 

Me Time!

Tonight was definitely all about me time.  Being a mom I don't always get the time to enjoy the things that make me happy.  Tonight though after Chris left for work I did.  More than I usually would, but for tonight this is just what I needed.  My night started with painting my nails, which let me tell you never happens.  I'm not the girly girl type and the last time I honestly remember painting my nails without biting it off moments later....never.  Tonight though I painted my nails and loved the color I chose.  Its by pure ice and its called heartbreaker and its this subtle delicate blue.  My night continued with some late night texts to Chris since he's at work, but not shortly after did I put on a movie.  Now the last few days I have scoured "on demand" and hadn't found a movie that actually looked interesting.  Tonight though I came across pitch perfect.  Now many of my friends said it was good and that I would really like it.  So I decided to watch it and see for myself.  I began the movie thinking this is going to be just like glee or high school musical.  And truthfully its almost identical just with a more artistic essence about it.  I found that I actually did like it.  It could definitely be classified as a girly movie, but I would also categorize it as a comedy too.  I found some of the scenes to be completely hilarious!  During my movie I got a craving for ice cream which isn't anything knew but the movie and the ice cream together just made the night more about me.  I have no complaints with how my night went.  And even though there is still stuff to do around my house I definitely needed this me time.

As a parent it is truly important to find time for yourself.  Even if its only for a few minutes.  Doesn't matter if you take a hot bath, go for a run, dress yourself up, or just read a book.  Just make sure your the focus.  This time to yourself can make all the difference in your day!  I promise!

I Miss You...

I miss you. I miss you more each day.  I took so many things that you did for granted, but now that I'm older I see just how meaningful those things were to me. I remember the stories you use to tell me.  Or the times when I wasn't feeling well and you'd rub circles on my back.  Or the countless day you would wake up and walk me to the bus stop and you were always there when I got off the bus in the afternoon.  I know I didn't always treat you right, and I'm really sorry for that, but none the less I loved you more than anything in this whole world.  There is no one in this world that knew me better than you.  You knew when I was upset without me ever saying a word.  The night I tried to commit suicide for the first time you told me you loved me.   You knew things were hard, but I was a beautiful, intelligent, and funny young woman and that you were always proud of me.  I remember walking into my room and your words echoing in my head.  I didn't want to hurt you.  I could imagine the pain I would cause you and I couldn't do that to you, so instead I reached out that night and got help.  I held on just a little longer even if I was still suffering. After I graduated I left, and it hurt so much to leave you behind.  In my mind I was doing the right thing.  I couldn't take how my parents were treating me any longer and I had to get out.  I knew you understood why I left, but it still hurt me to not see you or be there for you especially when your health started to deteriorate.  What killed the most is after I cut ties with my parents which meant me cutting ties with you, I had Joey and the one person I would of loved to be there the day I had him is you.  Yet because I didn't talk to my mom, I knew you wouldn't be there.  I remember like yesterday the day I ran into Nikki on the boardwalk and she told me just how bad your health issues got.  I remember going home and crying.  Holding on to Joey and deciding that no matter what, even my differences with my mom Joey would meet his Great Great Aunt Norma.  Later that week I came to visit you with Joey!  And you held him for the first time.  It brought tears to my eyes.  To see you holding my handsome little boy.  Yeah you didn't really know who he was because of you dementia but that didn't stop the instant love you had for him.  I took a picture of you holding him.  And to this day I look at it and cry.  I was so lucky to have you in my life, especially when no one else seemed to care or even love me.  I know that even heaven your watching me and Joey.  Loving us from afar.  Yet I still wish I could give you a hug.  Tell you all my problems.  And let the warmth of your unconditional love warm my heart.  I love you Aunt Norma and always will. 

RIP Aunt Norma
3/22/1933-11/20/2011

Introducing Myself!

Hi, my name is Danielle!  And that handsome little fellow smiling beside me is my son Joey!  As you can see I'm not your typical 23 year old, but it stems deeper than just being a mom.  I don't drink, smoke, or do any drugs, nor have I ever.  I call myself a survivor, because in my short life I have overcome so many challenges. Challenges such as bullying, domestic violence, emotional and physical abuse, and depression.  With each challenge I have gotten stronger and wiser. I may never see myself like everyone else does, but at least today I can see myself for more than the ugly duckling.  I am happy and living my life one day at a time.  I enjoy writing and hope to share not only my triumphs but my tribulations!